By now, the majority of America has written Justin Bieber off as a girl in an awkward boy’s body. From his high-pitched voice in all of his songs that lack real musical talent to the times that he has been so concerned with his looks that he mistakes doors as huggable women. And on top of all that, the real men of America laugh at his puny naked face.
During this past weekend, Justin(e) gave us yet another reason to laugh at his failures in manhood during a concert in Glendale, Arizona, when he threw up on stage. Go ahead, you can read that line again if you have to in order to gain a full appreciation of what went down.
Scientists are working furiously in their labs to understand the phenomena that just happened here, but the only hypothesis they could prove was that he finally listened to his own music. The next best explanation was that he looked at the silly backup dancers.
In true hipster fashion, he later Instagrammed a picture of himself and tweeted that he was in bed and getting better for the next show.
“I can be your boyfriend, I can be your boyfriend, I can be your bbbBBAAAARRFFF!!!!”
When will America realize that this little boy is not a man? Instead of forcing himself out onstage while feeling sick, he should have manned up and admitted that he couldn’t go on with the show before this incident happened. Then, all the true men in the world wouldn’t be laughing at him with one eyebrow raised.
So thank you, Justine. Thank you for giving us real men another reason to laugh at you.
Now go away.