Category: Pop Culture

Connecticut School Shooting: Morgan Freeman’s voice makes everything sound more credible

This is somewhat off topic from the news about the shooting, but still has something to do with it. I just thought it was an interesting observation. Don’t get me wrong, this shooting was a horrific, evil thing and it will never be justifiable in any way. Children’s lives were taken, and this is the most terrifying thing a parent or any one could ever hear of, let alone deal with. 

That being said, 

Everybody read this paragraph…

“You want to know why. This may sound cynical, but here’s why.

It’s because of the way the media reports it. Flip on the news and watch how we treat the Batman theater shooter and the Oregon mall shooter like celebrities. Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris are household names, but do you know the name of a single victim of Columbine? Disturbed people who would otherwise just off themselves in their basements see the news and want to top it by doing something worse, and going out in a memorable way. Why a grade school? Why children? Because he’ll be remembered as a horrible monster, instead of a sad nobody.

CNN’s article says that if the body count “holds up”, this will rank as the second deadliest shooting behind Virginia Tech, as if statistics somehow make one shooting worse than another. Then they post a video interview of third-graders for all the details of what they saw and heard while the shootings were happening. Fox News has plastered the killer’s face on all their reports for hours. Any articles or news stories yet that focus on the victims and ignore the killer’s identity? None that I’ve seen yet. Because they don’t sell. So congratulations­, sensationalist media, you’ve just lit the fire for someone to top this and knock off a day care center or a maternity ward next.

You can help by forgetting you ever read this man’s name, and remembering the name of at least one victim. You can help by donating to mental health research instead of pointing to gun control as the problem.”

Now, go back and re read the paragraph but just picture the man below softly narrating it as if you were watching a dramatic transition of a popular movie.

Morgan Freeman on Yesterday's Shootings

Ahhhh yes, Morgan Freeman’s most persuading and emotional narrative voice. Somehow, it makes the paragraph sound even more significant, moving, and provoking. Just by quoting this famous actor’s iconic voice for motivational narrations makes this paragraph, whoever said it, even more true.

Here’s the fact, people. Morgan Freeman never said this.

read this: 

This is just another prime example of how easy it really is to cause something totally false to become viral and people to believe everything they see on the internet. While I may agree with this statement and it is hard to disagree with the seriousness of this issue, we still need to be on our guard of what we see and trust online no matter who we think says it.


justin bieber lets his true colors shine.

By now, the majority of America has written Justin Bieber off as a girl in an awkward boy’s body.  From his high-pitched voice in all of his songs that lack real musical talent to the times that he has been so concerned with his looks that he mistakes doors as huggable women.  And on top of all that, the real men of America laugh at his puny naked face.

During this past weekend, Justin(e) gave us yet another reason to laugh at his failures in manhood during a concert in Glendale, Arizona, when he threw up on stage.  Go ahead, you can read that line again if you have to in order to gain a full appreciation of what went down.

Scientists are working furiously in their labs to understand the phenomena that just happened here, but the only hypothesis they could prove was that he finally listened to his own music.  The next best explanation was that he looked at the silly backup dancers.

In true hipster fashion, he later Instagrammed a picture of himself and tweeted that he was in bed and getting better for the next show.

“I can be your boyfriend, I can be your boyfriend, I can be your bbbBBAAAARRFFF!!!!”

When will America realize that this little boy is not a man?  Instead of forcing himself out onstage while feeling sick, he should have manned up and admitted that he couldn’t go on with the show before this incident happened.  Then, all the true men in the world wouldn’t be laughing at him with one eyebrow raised.

So thank you, Justine.  Thank you for giving us real men another reason to laugh at you.

Now go away.


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12-year old sucks carrie underwood’s face


This 12 year old got his first kiss from Carrie Underwood!!!

Carrie Underwood gives fan his first kissIn case you haven’t heard, here’s a quick rundown of what happened:  1.  12-year old boy, Chase, with a huge celebrity crush on Carrie Underwood prepares to go to her Louisville, Kentucky, concert by making a sign that says, “Carrie be my first kiss”.  2.  During the concert, Carrie sees the sign and the star-crossed boy and calls him up on stage.  3.  LIP WRESTLING!

See the video:

I don’t get it.  If this is what the world is coming to, you will soon find me at all of Zooey Deschanel‘s red carpet events with similar signs.  Oh gosh, think of all the consecutive girls he kisses that end with him walking away saying, “Nope, Carrie was better.”  This kid is going to have some really high standards for whatever girl he lays eyes on.  Not only that, but it was his first kiss.  Can we all just take a moment of silence and remember my first kiss in the middle of a corn field?


But what really gets me is how easy this was for him to do.  Is it that easy to kiss a girl?  Because my luck has been comparable to Alexander in Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.  I mean, if a 12-year old can show me up, I need to step up my game here.  T-Swift, watch out!

So, Chase, the tip of the hat to you.  Don’t steal all the ladies.  Oh, and when you run into Zooey in your rampant, love-filled escapades make sure to mention me.  I’d appreciate it.



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